I live in South Kansas City, MO. It is amazing on how
your family thinks you are doing so well because you are buying a house. I have
a 3 bedroom townhouse where my nephew and I live. I have not lived with
my family in many years. This week my sister and her two kids moved from
Oklahoma City to live with me because of some family issues. Everyone
thinks because I have my house and my truck that I have the funds and finances
to help them out. I am the youngest out of five kids. I have two older
brothers and two older, sister one deceased. I was the sibling who took care of
my sister funeral as well. You would think the oldest would take responsibility
as the leader of the family. Somehow that leadership has been put on me. I have
an idea as in why but I cannot say I am 100% correct. I have spoken with my
family and I hear different things.
I have spoken with my oldest uncle. When we had our
conversation he tried to explain why I was put in this role as leader. He tried
to tell me because I was the only one with some sense he said. I thought that
was funny, he didn’t. He was really serious about it. I told him that makes no
sense. We went on to discuss this issue for about a couple of hours. I still
did not understand nor wanted to take on the role. Time went by with no family
issues which would call for me to take on the role. We usually have holiday
gatherings at my house until I lost my high paying job due to economy. For a
couple of years we did not have gatherings at my house. Thanksgiving 2011 was
the first family gathering in two years. It was amazing and fun family time and
of course the leadership role was brought up again. I didn’t argue the
discussion this time.
When my sister situation came, take a wild guess on whose
phone was ringing like crazy. Easy guess wasn’t it! My brothers, younger half
sister, father who I do not speak to, uncles and cousins were all calling me to
see what I was going to do about my sister. It was automatic for everyone to
place me in charge. I went on to take charge and start making the decisions to
make sure we helped my sister get out of the situation she was in. It was hard
but I did it. The decisions were difficult to make but someone had to do it. I
paid for the bus tickets to get them here to my house. It was a long trip for
them because the bus driver drove very slowly. But mainly they are here safe
and sound for us to come together to love them and make sure they get all the
help they need to get through this rough time in their lives and to get on
their feet to have a new life beginning.
I can sympathize with the situation you are in and I admire your strength and courage. Taking on the roll, whether we want to or not, is difficult and always causes discontent in one fashion or another. Keep communication open with your sister so there are no hidden issues that grow in to resentment. I am glad that through all the negativity, you are still able to focus on helping you sister better life for her and her children.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you are in those kinds of situations. That is so cool that you are still willing to help your family even if it gets tiresome for you though. Keep it up I'm sure they really appreciate it!
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to understand and I can imagine how you feel. Remember though God doesn't put more on you than you can handle. You are obvious a compassionate and responsible person and the way you explained your behavior and how you always step up shows the love of God and this makes him very happy! Good luck and don't change you are full of love and compassion.
ReplyDeleteI can relate,also. My mother is the baby of the family and she has always been the "glue" that holds the family together, ever since my grandfather passed away. No one else takes any initiative to help. My mom has always been a very caring person, and helps any one that is need. It really does cause tension and resentment, though. Eventually, it gets tiring, so be careful and do talk it out like Naomi said. You are a very caring person, it sounds like, and you can do it! Just remember, you are probably the only thing keeping this family together, and that should make you feel very important.
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